And May the Odds
by CalPal052699
Summary: Everlark one-shot set on the train to the Capitol before their first games. Kinda hard to write a summary without spoiling it, though. Sorta OOC. Peeta's POV.
1. Chapter 1

**One-shot that takes place on the train to Katniss and Peeta's first Games. For the story, they go to the 75th Hunger Games first rather than the 74th Games. Perhaps a little OOC. It's not just an added-scene since it would change everything that happens after it takes place (you'll see what I mean).**

* * *

_"And may the odds be ever in your favor"_

Effie's signature line ran through my head. Tonight, though, the odds were certainly not in my favor. Okay, so, in a way, they were. Katniss had finally noticed me. But, this train wasn't taking me to the ideal place to get to know my lifelong crush. She was just a door down. A few steps away. She probably wasn't sleeping. What tribute could sleep peacefully after the reaping, except for maybe the careers who think this is a giant honor. I think it's torture. Everyone in District 12 does. Everyone, parents and children, dread the day of the reaping. Everyone doubts the possibility of a tribute from District 12 taking the games. This year, though, I desperately wished it would be different. I wanted Katniss to live, no matter the circumstances. I didn't care that I was playing against her. Katniss had to get out alive, for Prim, her mother and even Gale.

I heard movement in the hallway and knew it was her. She was the only other person that would be in the hallway outside my room. I could barely hear her soft footsteps, further confirming that it wasn't a stumbling and drunk Haymitch who would be stumbling noisily, or Effie who was always wearing heels. Listening carefully, I could hear a faint sniffle before all noise faded away. I tried to resist the urge to get up and try and comfort her. Clearly, she was upset. I had always hated seeing Katniss upset. I rolled onto my side, trying to ignore the girl I knew was down the hall. No success. Slowly, I stood up and followed where I had heard her footsteps go.

I went all the way to the end of the train, passing through the empty kitchen and hallways as I went. I finally found her sitting on the couch, watching the tracks go by, disappearing into the distance as we approached the Capitol and got further from home. The lights shining over the tracks were slightly lighting up her face. Silently, I walked over to the couch and took a seat next to her. Shocked, she quickly turned to me, her chest heaving as she tried to catch the breath she lost when he frightened her.

"Sorry" he whispered to her. The dim light made the highlights of her dark hair and her face look all that much more beautiful.

"Peeta! You scared me" she whisper-screamed at me.

"Sorry. I just wanted to make sure you were okay" I explained.

She turned away from me with a scoff. I knew what that meant. I knew what she might be thinking. She was probably wondering what would happen once we arrived at our destination. How the Careers enjoy being on this train leading them to their impending deaths. How her family was doing back home. How they were taking the news. If anyone back home truly thought one of us could win. How Haymitch could be useful to us. What the arena might look light. What our fellow tributes will be like. Which one of them will have the pleasure of killing us, and how. How people would react to our deaths. All were questions running through our heads at a thousand miles an hour, even faster than the train we were sitting in. When I didn't speak, she turned back to me. I saw the sorrow in her eyes and it broke my heart. I reached over and tentatively touched her arm, trying to be supportive. She didn't move or pull away, so I ran my fingertips up and down from her shoulder to elbow.

She sighed softly and I wanted to know what exactly was running through her mind. No doubt it was about the games. Everything that was running through both our minds was about the games. I could see the tenseness in her shoulders and wondered if it was just the fact that she was a tribute or everything that had gone on in the past few years that had caused it to be there. I was well aware of the struggles she had been through, her sneaking off to hunt, the death of her dad, her mother's depression, even though she had probably never noticed me. Gaining a little confidence, I reached up and massaged her one shoulder, feeling exactly how tense it was. I could feel the knots in her muscles and hated that her life was so hard.

"You wanna talk about it?" I asked her, reaching up with my other hand and massaging her other shoulder. She turned slightly towards me, most likely subconsciously, allowing me to continue to knead the tense flesh of her neck and shoulders.

"There's nothing to talk about" she said emotionlessly.

I sighed, hating knowing how hard this was on her. It was harder on her than it was on me, and that was pretty hard. I was leaving brothers who liked to fight and a mom who beat me. I would only actually miss my dad. She was leaving her little sister, who meant the world to her, her mother, and her best friend. This sucked for me, I couldn't imagine what she was going through.

"Katniss... Talking can help" I told her, desperately wanting to help her.

"There's nothing to say" she repeated. "You know what's going to happen. We're going to go there, train, do dumb interviews in overwhelming dresses and too much makeup just to please people who are going to cheer when we die" she said coldly. It was true. The people in the Capitol made us do all this for their entertainment.

"I know, Katniss. It sucks. It does. But listen. You might not die" I told her. It was true. Everyone in District 12, including my own mother - like I had mentioned earlier - thought that she could win. And it was true. She had an incredibly accurate shot with a bow and was amazing at not trusting people who didn't deserve to be trusted. She could do this. She could live.

"Everyone says that, but it's not true. Yeah, I can shoot a bow but that won't mat-" she stopped and winced as I found a incredibly tense spot, which I kneaded like the bread from the bakery back home. "ter. It won't matter. Not when everyone else has sponsors who give them their weapons of choice and food" she continued when she recovered the ability to speak.

I stayed silent and finished massaging her shoulders, continuing to knead them like dough until I had managed to get as much as I could of the tenseness out of them. When I was done, I had to fight the urge to press a light kiss on the bare skin where her neck met her shoulder. Instead, I turned her towards me, ready to convince her she was wrong. She looked surprised when I gripped her shoulders and turned her on the couch, but I didn't care.

"Katniss. You need to know that you can win. You need to believe, so you can fight and go back to Prim and Gale and your mom" I told her seriously.

"Peeta! What don't you understand?! Gale and my mom and Prim are going to have to watch my death on TV" she said angrily. She stood up quickly and turned her back to me. I stood up and went to stand behind her, placing a supportive hand on her shoulder. She still didn't pull away, surprising me.

"You don't know that" I whispered.

I heard her sigh, her sadness clear in it. It was true, she didn't know. I didn't know. No one knew who was going to come out victor. She turned to me and the anger that had been in her eyes a few seconds ago was gone and replaced by pure sorrow. I hated seeing her so upset.

"Why are you even telling me this? You're trying to convince me to win, to fight when, to do that, I'd need to kill you" she said, looking down shyly at her hands, which I hadn't realized she'd been fumbling with nervously. I sighed, unsure of exactly what to say.

"Because..." I trailed. "Katniss..." I couldn't find the words.

"Please, Peeta. I need you to tell me" she begged, which I didn't expect.

"Because it's true" I somewhat lied. That wasn't the only reason. "Because you have so much more to fight for. Because I couldn't live with myself if you died because you didn't fight" I added much more honestly.

"Why?" she asked again and I knew she was referring to my last explanation. Once again, I struggled with the words to answer, so I lied.

"I don't know"

She nodded slowly, as if knowing I was lying but not wanting to call me out on it. I was relieved. We stood there silently, unsure of what to say or do. Besides one small interaction, we had never met. I knew everything about her, but she knew so little about me.

"Peeta?" she asked suddenly, breaking the somewhat awkward silence.

"Yeah?" I responded.

"You keep saying I have so much to get back to, but don't you have someone important to get back to?" she asked.

"No" I answered instantly. Her face instantly showed a look of surprise and confusion, and I knew I had to explain. "My mom has beat me my entire life" When I said this, the lack of reaction from her told me she already knew. I secretly wondered if she remembered the day with the bread, when she was in our yard when my mother hit me. "My brothers and I only ever fight and all my dad does is work" I somewhat finished. There was one other person I loved. She still looked like she expected more.

"Anyone else? Friends?" I shook my head. "A special... girl?" she asked, and I couldn't deny that one.

"There's a girl" I said softly.

"See? You have to go back, for her" said Katniss.

"It won't matter" I stated plainly. She looked confused, again.

"Why? Does she not... feel the same way?" she asked carefully, slowly as if skating around a sore subject.

"I don't know how she feels" I said simply. I truly didn't.

"Then you have to go back to find out. If you win, she'll definitely accept to go on a date with you" she said.

"If I win, it won't matter how I feel about her" I said.

"Why?" she asked again, her confusion growing into what seemed more like frustration.

"You really want to know, Katniss?" I asked, frustrated as well but not with her. Frustrated with myself, my feelings, my heart. She nodded. "Because if I win, if I go back, that means she's dead" I answered er and watched as a look I expected to be horror or disgust, but was rather shock and, once again, confusion wash over her face.

She didn't speak for a long time. It was awkward. I knew she knew what I meant. I knew she knew how I felt. I knew she didn't know how to react. Who would? She just stared at me, her gaze not leaving me even as I turned and walked back to the couch at the end of the train. I could feel her brown eyes on me as I watched the tracks, exactly as she had been when I found her. I heard her footsteps coming towards me, but still didn't turn. I was to embarrassed to show my face to her. Then, I felt her fingertips on my arm and realized she was doing exactly what I had done to her.

"Me?" she asked simply, even that one word making her question obvious. I nodded. "How? Why? When?" she asked and I almost chuckled at how much she sounded like my third grade teacher. _Who? What? When? Where? Why? How?_ I thought._ Katniss. I love her. Always, since we were five. There's not really a where. Because... I don't know, everything about her. Is there really a how?_

"Because... you're perfect" I managed to get out. She let out a low chuckle, telling me she didn't agree whatsoever. I turned to her, her gaze was locked on me. My eyes met hers and it suddenly felt like we weren't going to the Hunger Games, we weren't on a train to the Capitol and I hadn't just confessed my love for someone who barely knew me, who I should barely know. "You are" I say. "You're beautiful, determined, strong, independant" I explain, not missing as her eyes that, at first, had been filled with laughter, as if I was joking, softened as I complimented her.

h "I'm not" she said but her voice cracked, letting me know that she at least somewhat believed me.

"Yes, Katniss, you are" I repeat. She didn't say anything, but I could tell by her face that the compliment was sinking in, slowly. I could also tell that being complimented was foreign to her, and she didn't know how to reply. She just remained silent for a long while.

"Thanks" she said softly, so softly I barely heard her. Looking into her soft eyes, I could tell it had sunk in and she was ready to accept it, or at least to not argue.

We're silent, again. I don't know what to say. What do you say right after you confess to someone you never actually talked to until that afternoon that you love them? What do they say after such a confession? I wanted her to know before I died. I really did. I just didn't know what to say. Not only did I just confess my love for her, but we're on our way to an arena where we'll have to kill each other.

"Peeta?" she broke the silence, again.

"Yeah?" I asked, again.

"When did I become, uh... special... to you?" she asked, once again like she had to be careful or I'd snap. I wondered why.

"The first time I saw you" I answered plainly, as if everyone fell in love at five years old. She gasped before exhaling with a chuckle.

"Seriously?! We were five" she said, laughing. I knew it was probably one of the last times I'd ever hear her laugh, so I made sure I had the sound - which was one of the best sounds I'd ever heard - burned into my memory.

"I know" I said. "We were in kindergarten. Your hair was in two braids instead of one" I said, reaching over and running the tip of her braid in between my thumb and forefinger. "We were in music class and the teacher asked if anyone knew the Valley Song. Your hand shot up. You stood up and sang it proudly and the whole room went quiet" I finished my short story, one that I would always remember. She looked surprised.

"How do you remember that so well?" she asked.

"It's the day I... fell in love. I'll never forget it" I told her seriously, honestly.

Suddenly, she was standing up and at the other side of the room. I wondered what I had said that had scared her. Fell in love, I answered my own question. I should've known better than to use such a word. Such a sentence. I stood up and walked over to her.

"Sorry" I said softly, resting my hand on her shoulder like I had earlier.

"For what? You have nothing to be sorry for" she said flatly.

"Katniss, I... I shouldn't of said it like that" I said. The turned around, but my hand remained on her shoulder, almost as if trying to make sure she wouldn't run away.

"Peeta... You really have nothing to be sorry for" she said softly. "You were being honest. I just..." I could tell she was struggling to find the words.

"You don't react well to the word love. You never wanted to fall in love" I finished for her. The look on her face at how well I knew her did not go unnoticed. "I, uh... I would watch you walk home from school, escape the District with Gale to hunt, sometimes even come back into it, Katniss. I know you better than you thought" I explained. "I knew you were starving after your dad..." I trailed, not wanting to upset her. "That's why I-"

"Why you gave me the bread. You got beat by your mom to give me bread so I could eat, and feed my family" she finished for me. I nodded. She did remember, after all. "That's one day I'll... never forget" she admitted softly. "It gave me... hope"

"That was my goal. Well, that and to have you notice me" I admitted. "At least it half worked" I joked and heard her laugh again, only briefly before her face went dead serious.

"It more than half worked though" she mumbled under her breath. I wasn't sure how to react.

I guess my lack of reaction made her nervous, because she looked up at me fearfully. Her eyes, filled with vulnerability and fear, looked directly into mine and I had to work hard not to kiss her. I wanted to though.

"It did?" I asked. She nodded, not saying a word. I was vaguely aware of the way our faces were slowly moving closer together. Unable to resist any longer, I leaned down and kissed her gently, softly, lovingly. She was expecting it, so her lips were instantly moving against mine. I pulled away, not wanting to ruin the moment by deepening the kiss. I stared into her silver grey eyes. They were unlike most of the seam people's eyes, silver rather than iron grey. She smiled faintly before allowing me to pull her tightly against me. She then slowly pulled away.

"Peeta... I can't" she said. Her hands were still on my shoulders and mine on her waist. "I can't... do this. Not knowing that only one of us can survive" That reality hit me like a ton of bricks.

"Well than, Katniss, why don't we just get to know each other, as fellow tributes?" I suggested. A hint of a smiled played across her lips as she pulled a hand away from my shoulder and joined it with mine on her hip. She intertwined our fingers and led me back to the couch, where we talked until we were too tired to form a coherent thought.

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I woke up the next morning still laying on that couch, only vaguely remembering the last parts of the night before. One thing I was fully aware of was Katniss pressed against my side. It was another feeling I burned to memory. I laid there with her until she woke up and hurried off of me and out of the cart, obviously embarrassed. I didn't see her again until breakfast. We were eating in silence, only picking at our food, with a hungover Haymitch who was going on and on about how we should try his liquor, about how it would numb us from the pain of the upcoming games. I was paying little attention to him, though. I was watching Katniss, and she was watching me, a sad look on her face. I knew what had put it there, since it had probably put an identical one on my face. Right now, we were both alive, but it was only a matter of time until one - or both - of us were dead. I hated the games more than ever.

Haymitch was on his third glass of white liquor when Effie came in running. I had barely realized she wasn't there, since I was stuck in the trance Katniss Everdeen always put on me. Her pale, Capitol dyed skin looked even whiter in comparison to the bright orange eye shadow, blush and lipstick she had on. That, and her puffy, orange dress made it look like a pumpkin threw up on her. I'd never understand Capitol people's sense of style, if it could even be called that.

"Today is such a big, big, big day. We shall arrive in the Capitol this afternoon" she reminded us. As she finished her sentence, the TV in the room switched on and the Panem seal appeared before fading into an image of President Snow. "Ah! It is time for the Capitol's big, big, big announcement about their big, big, big twist for this year's Quarter Quell" she said excitedly, quickly taking her seat next to Katniss.

I had somehow completely forgotten it was a Quarter Quell until then, as I listened to Effie, trying not to be distracted by her big, big, big hair and now President Snow going on about why they had started these twists every twenty-five years. Effie, Haymitch, Katniss and I all watched in silence as a young boy dressed in white came up to the President with a wooden box which contained neatly arranged yellow envelopes. Clearly, the creators of the Games had arranged themselves to be ready for many annual Hunger Games. He slowly opened the envelope and I noticed his eyes widen in shock.

"The twist for this years Quarter Quell is something we've never seen, and will never see again. This year, in honor of another big anniversary, _two_ tributes may survive, a boy and a girl, as long as they are from the same District" he announced.

My eyes widened in pure shock. That meant both Katniss and I could survive. I quickly turned to her, ignoring Effie's talk about how this was such good, good, good news, and met her shocked gaze. Reality slowly set in as I realized that we might not both die. We might not die at all. I wasn't aware of Effie anymore, nor Haymitch. I was actually barely aware of the fact that both Katniss and I had stood up until I was holding her tightly against my chest. I did notice how quickly both Effie and Haymitch shut up, probably surprised.

"We can live. We can both live" I repeated into her hair as I held her as tightly as possible against me. She nodded against my chest, nuzzling herself deeper into it. I pressed my lips to her head, against her hair. She looked up, inviting me to kiss her on the lips, which I did. It was another slow and sensual kiss, which I ended quicker than I intended to avoid it getting heated with our mentor and escort in the room. She smiled at me and I pulled her tightly against me again. I just held her, ignoring everything around me. I would do anything to have us both make it out of there alive.

_"And may the odds be ever in your favor"_

That line ran through my mind again, but, this time, I knew one thing. The odds were definitely in my favor.

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**Hope you liked it :) Thinking of doing a sequel to this, possibly a series of one-shots (all in one thread) that take place from right after this until the end of the games, but that's up to you guys. R&R**


	2. Chapter 2

**So, decided to continue this :) Sorry the update took so long but with my teachers trying to get as much as possible in before Christmas vacation (only tomorrow left!) and my Jason & Sam stories, among other things, it was hard to finish. Enjoy!**

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Arriving at the Capitol was bitter and overwhelming. All those people with obvious wigs, obnoxious tattoos and dyed skin among other horrible 'beauty treatments'. They all looked like Effie, only worse. I had always judged my escort's sense of style, but these people were far worse. These Capitol people, all of which I hated. All of them cheering for us, the tributes from District 12. All of them waiting to watch our death on TV, cheering on whoever gruesomely murdered us. None of them expecting Katniss, me, nor both of us, to come out of their cruel games alive. All of them ready to encourage the Careers, among others that weren't us.

Once we had returned to reality and pulled away from our tight hug, we explained to Effie and Haymitch why this was such good, good, good news, for us. Effie had practically screeched in delight and started babbling about how incredibly sweet it was that we had mutual feelings for each other and about how that stars were aligned for us. I had never actually heard the expression before, but assumed it was good. Haymitch, seeming suddenly sober, had informed all of us that he could use our love story to get Katniss and I sponsors, as long as we announced it in a way that made it seem that we hadn't already admitted it to each other, on the train ride. Effie had suggested we admit our love for one another at the interviews, right before wze entered the arena. Apparently, her fellow Capitol people would love it. Katniss and I agreed, only because it could help save our lives.

Getting off the train, the crowd of crazies split like... the red sea, I think, that we read about if our history books. Only a few of them reach out to try and touch us as video cameras and other people with cameras capture our every move. I knew Katniss was probably overwhelmed more than I was, especially with people screaming questions at her about Prim. I had to work hard, really hard, not to reach for her hand, to protect her from the Capitol creeps who surrounded us, invading our privacy, celebrating our impending death. I knew I couldn't though, only because reaching for her could diminish our chances at survival. Instead, I focused on the tip of her braid and the way it bounced slightly with every step. I could hear Haymitch grumbling under his breath and I wondered if it was the alcohol in his system or a simple hatred of the Capitol that tortured him like they were about to torture us. Effie, leading the group from District 12, repeated a few times to just keep following her. We did and eventually arrived at a tall building with a huge, lit up sign that read: Training Building.

As soon as the glass doors behind us slid shut, the ruckus outside was muted from our ears. I figured the doors and walls must be soundproof. Effie apologized for the behavior of the inhabitants of the Capitol that weren't raised with as manners as polished as hers were. I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes, reminding myself that we were probably being taped with cameras hidden around the building they remodeled and reused every year for the annual Hunger Games. We followed her to the elevator as she explained that each district had their own floor and, since we were District 12, we got the penthouse. Haymitch muttered something under his breath, which I assumed was about Effie. She didn't seem to notice though, as she kept talking and talking. I looked over at Katniss and found she was already looking back at me. I smiled and rolled my eyes exaggeratingly and saw her smile a bit. That's when the elevator opened.

The elevator opened directly into the living room, which was about five steps down from the dining room. Both rooms were decorated in a modern way, chairs, sofas and decorations all colorful and oddly shaped. Effie seemed pleased, though, because she clapped a few times and let out a delighted squeal.

"And this is your living quarters for the next few days" she told us. Both Katniss and I nodded silently. She turned to us. "Show a little enthusiasm" she scolded us. Haymitch let out a mixture of a cough and a laugh.

"Effie, sweetheart, don't ask them to be excited about their death. You'd think after years you'd learn that the District 12 tributes are never enthusiastic" he told her.

"Haymitch, would you please not encourage their negative attitude towards the honor that is the Hunger Games. Besides, Katniss volunteered" she argued with our mentor. I was getting annoyed with our overly enthusiastic escort.

"To save her little sister!" I said, a little louder than I had intended. I saw Effie back away a bit and suddenly felt bad, for some reason.

"You're right, Peeta" she said, a little quieter. "Sorry. I don't mean be excited about the idea of being in an arena with people who are trying to kill you. I simply meant that..." she trailed and I knew she had no other possible story.

"It's okay, Effie" said Katniss, showing me, once again, exactly what made her so very perfect.

Effie quieted down after my outburst at her. She simply talked when pointing out various rooms. She pointed down one hallway and explained that she and Haymitch would be sleeping in bedrooms in that direction. She then led us down the hallway opposite to the first one. She opened one door and told Katniss it was her room, it had a en-suite bathroom and all the clothes she could want. Something told me, all the clothes she could want wasn't much by Katniss' definition but a ton by Effie's. Katniss nodded and made her way into her room. I followed Effie to the last door and listened as she told me the exact same thing she told Katniss about her room. I nodded, silently like Katniss, and went in my room to get ready for dinner before our stylists came up to get our measurements so they couch finish our outfits for tomorrow's chariot intro. I simply got in the fancy Capitol shower, initially confused by the array of buttons that all did different things. The Capitol inhabitants seemed to forget that in the districts we didn't have such technology and that we had no idea how it worked. It must've taken me at least ten minutes to have the shower work normally and even longer to figure out that there were more buttons that made the shower chamber dry you practically instantly. I didn't enjoy that part, towels were much better for drying off. I felt extremely odd walking around my room completely naked, since they had no towels in the bathrooms at all. Especially since I was pretty sure there were cameras everywhere in the Training Building. I quickly threw on the most normal articles of clothing is the assortment of options, obviously chosen by Capitol freaks. It consisted of a pair of simple black slacks and a knit sweater over a plain, yet bright t-shirt. I was pretty sure this outfit had more material in it then most of Katniss' wardrobe at home combined.

I came out of my room, surprised to see her coming out of hers at the same time. She was simply wrapping the elastic around the tip of her braid. She was wearing the same outfit she had been wearing earlier and I silently wished I had thought of that. She smiled at me.

"Looking fancy" she commented, motioning to my attire as she released the tip of her hairstyle allowing the braid to bounce to her mid-back.

"It's better than the rainbow colored dress shirts and vests that made up the rest of my options" I told her. "You were smart, though" I added, motioning to her outfit.

"There was no way I was wearing a dress for dinner" she told me. It made sense. Katniss certainly wasn't the kind of girl to wear big, poofy Capitol style dresses voluntarily, or at all for that matter.

"Yeah. You never struck me as someone who would gratefully switch wardrobes with Effie" I said and saw her smile. We heard Effie from the dining room, asking Haymitch how long it takes to shower and get ready and we both laughed. Her Capitol accent always made our escort sound ridiculous. "Come on, before she loses her wig" I said. She smiled again and took my hand. We walked side by side to the dining room.

She took her seat next to Effie and I took mine next to Haymitch. They both already had food on their plates, but Effie was picking at it while Haymitch gulped down another shot of whiskey. I went to pull out Katniss' chair, like the gentleman my mother had raised me to be, but the tapped my hand lightly, indicating she could do it herself. After all, she was Katniss, always so very independant. I nodded acknowledgingly and let her pull out her own chair, moving past her to sit down in my own seat. I thought the food assortment on the train was fancy. Well, that was nothing compared to the assortment of food set out on the huge dining room table. I was pretty positive this food could feed the average Seam family. including the Everdeens, for a whole year, if not longer. I looked over towards the end of the table to see Katniss looking over the food options and Effie finally taking a full bite of her... fish, I think. I wondered if all Capitol people ate as daintily as she did, taking the tiniest of bites. Katniss' arm cut through my line of vision and I saw she was serving herself a little of whatever Effie had just eaten. I waited for her to move on to something else before doing the same. Neither one of us ended up eating much. Capitol food and District 12 food was really different.

After dinner, the stylists arrived. They came into the penthouse suite holding measuring tapes and sketchbooks. There was a man, who introduced himself as Cinna. He was Katniss' stylist. He seemed cool, more easygoing that the other Capitol freaks. He wore normal clothes and his makeup consisted of simple gold eyeliner, much more understated than Effie or even his partner, my stylist, Portia. Her curly blond hair was shaped like a bowl, a semi-sphere, and her blond bangs were thick. Her forehead had light pink powder across it. Her eyes were surrounded by lines of thick black eyeliner, but her eyeshadow was light. Her lips were coated in black lipstick. Despite her usual Capitol appearance, she seemed nice. She seemed to have a normal personality and even apologized for the fact we got stuck in this awful position. I decided I might not mind Portia. She did seem more normal than Effie, after all.

We all sat around and talked about what we wanted and didn't want for our costumes for the chariot intro. Katniss had been very vocal about wanting clothing, unlike years past. She didn't want to be naked on that chariot covered in nothing but black dust, representing the dust that then men came out of the mines covered in. I understood. I wouldn't want to be wearing dust as an outfit in front of the whole country. I did think, though, that she could totally pull it off. Not that I was going to tell her, or anyone, that. Cinna and Portia assured us that they had a better idea, and that we'd both be fully clothed for the chariot ride. Instead of focussing on the coal, we want to focus on what it's used for, Cinna had said as Portia nodded. Besides that, though, they hadn't revealed anything about their design ideas, leaving both of us curious as to what we might be wearing while the whole world watched.

After they left, and told us that our individual prep teams would be there to bring us to beauty base zero, whatever that was, early the next morning, Effie decided it was time to fill us in on our schedule for the next day. First, the prep teams would come and prepare us individually for Cinna and Portia. When I asked what beauty base zero was, she simply told me that it was bringing us down to the point of natural beauty. If this was the Capitol we were talking about, I was seriously doubting beauty base zero was all that natural. I hoped my hair wouldn't be shaved into some intricate design or that I'd have a permanent tattoo draw across my forehead or that my skin would be dyed some unnatural color like pink or orange or purple. I also didn't want Katniss to look like a Capitol creep, not that it would change the girl I'd fallen in love with, but it would be a little hard to treat her the same way if she looked like Effie or Portia. I pushed those thoughts aside, though, unable to even imagine Katniss with skin the color of Effie's or hair bigger than her head.

After the prep teams, Cinna and Portia would come up and reveal our outfits to us, explain to us their inspiration among other things as well as help us put on the usually ridiculous outfits. Then, Haymitch and Effie would join the four of us to escort us downstairs and give us some last advice on how to get the Capitol creeps to like us before sending us off. The chariot ride was the official introduction to the Hunger Games, the first people saw of the tributes after the reapings and the last they saw of us until our pictures appeared next to our scores attributed by the gamemakers. It was our one opportunity to impress the Capitol people, except for the ones who found ways to see us anyway, until those scores were revealed as well. And, it was our first time seeing the other tributes in person, since we'd only ever seen them as we watched, by law, the playing of their reapings, just like the rest of Panem. It was our first chance to establish threats and potential allies. Our first chance to guess which one of them was going to send the arrow, or spear, or sword, or knife through us that would make the cannon sound overhead, announcing our official death.

When Effie was done going over our schedule, Haymitch stumbled off in direction of his bedroom. Part of me didn't expect him to come back, due to the sky high alcohol levels I knew were in his bloodstream, but he did. He stumbled back into the living room, almost face planting down the stairs and practically sitting on Effie's lap, until she shoved him back to a standing position momentarily so she could move over. A disgusted song came out of the back of her throat, and another as Haymitch let out a comment that I couldn't quite make out do to his slurred words. I wasn't sure how Effie understood him either, even after years of working with him, but she did, somehow. I don't think Katniss understood either, because her eyebrows knitted together in confusion. She then turned to me, an amused look in her eyes. I just shrugged and flashed an amused grin in her direction. She smiled ever so slightly, and I knew even that was hard for her, before glancing away and back at our escort, who was now going over ways to capture the attention of her Capitol piers. I was expecting her to tell us to flaunt our love story, but she simply told us to put up a united front. I hoped she'd elaborate on that, since I wasn't sure exactly what she meant, and I didn't think Katniss knew either. I shrugged it off.

Effie would've continued talking and talking and talking, had Haymitch not interrupted her. Off course, in the usual Effie and Haymitch way, they had argued about whether sleep or our schedule was more important. Of course, Effie thought it was a schedule, while Haymitch thought it was sleep. I voted sleep and, based on Katniss' yawn, I'm positive she did too. I wanted to go over and pull her into my arms, but I wasn't sure she'd want that, or if the cameras were filming us at the very instant. Instead I just caught her eye and smiled, rolling my eyes playfully at the argument between our escort and our mentor. She gave me a slight smile back. Our eyes remained locked until Haymitch clapped his hands loudly.

"Okay, kiddos, it's time for bed" he said. "Trust me, these next few days will be exhausting" I saw her wince at the remainder of where we were, and why. Then, her face went back into it's usual scowl, the one I had examined so many times over the years. "Go on"

Slowly, I stood up, and watched as she did the same. Effie smiled at us and wished us a good night and sweet dreams. It made me feel like I was five again. And, I was pretty positive that, as your preparing to go into the torturous arena of 'The Hunger Games', your dreams are exactly 'sweet'. Horrifying was more my guess. I saw Katniss roll her eyes at the comment, and I knew she was doubting at our dreams would be any good as well. We walked off in direction of our bedrooms, walking down the hall side by side. As we stopped at the end of the hall, where the doors to our bedrooms were face to face, I grasped her hand lightly. She turned to me and I leaned over to plant a soft kiss.

"Goodnight" I said. Then, doing my best Capitol accent, I added. "Add may your dreams be not all that horrible" I saw a slight smile come up across her face and she mouthed 'goodnight' back before turning, slowly opening her door and I watched as our hands slowly separated.

Once she disappeared behind her closed bedroom door, I did the same. Looking around it, examining it closer than I had earlier, I came to the conclusion that it was bigger than my family back in District 12's living quarters and at least two Seam cabins combined, maybe even going up to four when it came to the smaller, him and her, cabins. On the wall opposite the door, was a huge window, that took over the entire wall. I went over to the dresser to try and find pyjamas, but all of them were light, see-through silk. I opted not to wear them, and sleep in simply my boxers instead. On top of the dresser was a remote. I grabbed it and pressed a button that simply read '3' on it. The lighting in the room changed. I looked around and found that what I thought was a window was actually a screen that changed with this remote. Now, instead of a view of the Capitol, it showed a waterfall, surrounded by jungle. I pressed a few other buttons, one that made it an ocean view, one that made it a mountain view, and one that made it palm trees, before one caught my eye. It was a forest, like the one surrounding District 12. I wasn't familiar with the forests of my home district, but the image made me think of someone who did. Katniss. I smiled at the simple thought of her. Slowly slipping out of my Capitol clothing, I stripped down into my boxers and crawled into bed. Thoughts of Katniss and the Games plagued my mind, along with thoughts of Katniss in the Games. I knew that it was not going to be a night of sweet dreams, like Effie had wished me, but one of horrible dreams that I knew would plagued me until the day I died.


	3. Chapter 3

I was woken the next morning by the insistent pounding of Effie's fist against my door and her high-pitched, accented Capitol voice coming through my ears and stabbing my tired mind like daggers. I yelled back at her that I was awake and that she could stop giving me a headache with he rather rude awakening. Didn't the Capitol people have alarm clocks, or some other form of awakening that didn't involve your rather annoying escort? She called back through the door to remind me of the fact that Katniss and I had a big, big, big day of training that day, and that it would shine a dark light upon us if we were to show up late. I had told her I was well aware of our schedule, since I was pretty sure she had recited it to us at least three times the day before, and that I would be out and ready, but not really ready, for the day ahead soon. I assumed she was satisfied when I heard her heels click against the floor of the penthouse as she walked away, the sound slowly fading until it was out of earshot.

I let out an annoyed sigh as I rolled over in bed, the first step of my slow start to what I knew would be a long day. I could still faintly hear Effie voice, even though I couldn't make out a word of what she was saying to who I assumed was either Haymitch or Katniss, but most likely Haymitch because the tone of her voice was the same she always had around the drunk. I slowly sat up in bed, wondering if Katniss was already up. I had a feeling she was used to sleepless nights and early mornings - at least much more used to them than I was. I noted the pile of clothes on the nightstand next to the bed with a note reading my name and 'For the training center'. I wondered how and when that had gotten there, and who had placed it there, though I assumed it was an avox, perhaps the dark haired male one that had been working alongside the redhead girl that Katniss had recognized the night before - he could tell, even though she hadn't said anything about it.

I reached for the pile of black clothing. Picking it up, I could feel how thin the material was and assumed it had something to do with the amount of exercise we may be doing during our training for the Hunger Games. I stood up and slipped the shirt on over my bare chest. The material was so thin it let a lot of air through, and I imagined it making working out a lot more comfortable. It fit my chest perfectly, only slightly loose. I had to dig through the drawers to find underwear, because it was more than apparent that boxers would not fit under the thin and tight, perfectly fitting, made specifically for the individual tributes, pants of the training attire. When I found something acceptable, I took of my boxers and put those on instead before quickly covering them with the pants, also tailored to fit my body just right. At the foot of the nightstand sat a pair of rather bulky black shoes, but they hadn't been there the night before so I assumed they were for training as well, so I put them on, too.

I hadn't bothered to check my appearance before leaving the bedroom. I couldn't care less about what I looked like because, not only would all the other tributes be wearing identical outfits, but my appearance was the least of my worries when I was preparing to go into an arena full of people and animals and 'natural' disasters trying to kill me, some because they were created exactly for that, others to entertain their people, and the other tributes simply so they could live, because if I didn't die, it meant they were dead. They would all be after not only me, but Katniss, and I was reminded of that when I saw her sitting at the table - hair in a braid and her outfit identical to mine, fitting her perfectly - with Haymitch and Effie. And, at the sight of her silently listening to their advice for the day, I realized just how much I'd have to train, because I was going to make sure Katniss got out of there alive, no matter what I had to do.

Once Effie noticed me, I had no choice but to quickly join them at the table. I took my seat in between Katniss and Haymitch. Silently - probably because she couldn't talk - the redheaded avox came over and placed a plate in front of me, and the dark-haired one I had assumed brought in my clothes the night before came over with a mug. I took both, thanking them despite Effie insisting that we should not be talking to the avoxes rather loudly from the end of the table. I saw what was probably as close to a smile as possible cross the young girl's lips, though, and instantly knew it was worth it - no matter what anyone did, and the small redheaded girl didn't seem to be the mass-murderer type, they deserved to smile once in a while. When I turned away, back to the group I was eating my breakfast with, I saw a tiny smile of Katniss' lips, confirming to me that she was glad the avox had smiled as well, and Effie rolled her eyes. I turned away from her and stared at the table as I began to eat the bacon from my plate. It was all I could do not to roll my eyes at my Capitol-native escort's ignorance to the world around her, including the games, including the fact that the avoxes were just as human as she was.

* * *

It was eleven that morning, about two hours after breakfast, when Katniss and I rode the elevator to the basement of the building, where the actual training would take place. Effie's high-pitched voice blabbering out advice at a hundred miles an hour still ran through my mind. "Don't ignore the survival skills" she had said, while Haymitch nodded and hummed in agreement with everything she said. "Don't show of your biggest strengths", "Don't let the other competitors see you weaknesses", "Don't be all lovey-dovey down there. You don't want anyone to know, yet" That last one was pretty pointless advice. I knew Katniss well enough to know that if she was scared of the word 'love', in a sense, she would not be acting all 'lovey-dovey', as Effie had put it, in front of the other tributes. I would try and follow the other advice, though, and I hoped Katniss would too.

Speaking of Katniss - or, well, thinking of Katniss - she has standing really close to me, and not just because the elevator had limited space. The night before, we had been four in the elevator, and none of us were touching. So, I was pretty sure that Katniss was brushing her shoulder and fingertips against mine on purpose, and I was starting to wonder if I had been wrong about her not being lovey-dovey. However, I still thought I was right, because the gentle brush of her fingertips was tentative and shy and we were standing alone in the small elevator bringing us to the place where we would be face to face with our competitors for the first time - something I wasn't looking particularly forward to. As the number above our heads, indicating the floor we were passing as Effie had explained, switched to 6, she spoke for pretty much the first time since I had seen her that morning.

"Do you think they'll be good at all this stuff?" she asked, and I could hear the faint shaking of her voice telling me she was nervous. Her fingertips were still brushing against mine, and I took the chance to grip her hand firmly with mine. She tensed in my grasp for a second before calming down.

"There will be the careers. They're always amazing at this stuff" I whispered, watching as the number overhead flicked to 4. "But not everyone will be" I told her. She nodded, staying silent. Her gaze stayed on the doors in front of us, and I found myself wondering what she was thinking about - maybe Prim, and how she would've done in a such a scenario.

I let go of her hand as the number over the door switched from 2 to 1, knowing the door would be opening soon and that we should not be holding hands in front of our competitors - at least not at that moment - because it would put a huge bullseye on our backs. Then, the 1 switched to a G, then a B, and the doors opened. In front of us, most of the tributes were revealed to us, face to face, for the first time. Standing so close, the big ones looked bigger - like the boys from districts 1, 2 and 11 - and the small ones looked smaller - like the girl from district 11 and even the one from district 2, despite being a career. Katniss walked out of the elevator first seemingly less fazed by our first encounter with those out to kill us. I followed closely behind, honestly not knowing what to do.

Katniss sat on a bench against the wall, near the tributes from district 6 and 7, none of which looked particularly intimidating. Both looked rather skinny, like they didn't eat much - and I wouldn't of been surprised if they hadn't, most people in the districts didn't get enough to eat - and both were looking at the ground, looking intimidated by their current situation. I couldn't blame them, as I was fighting the urge to mirror their positions. With a soft sigh, I shifted my gaze from them to two other people. They were both slim and had red hair atop their heads, from the back looking almost like brother and sister, and both had a five sewed onto their sleeves. Near them were the tributes from eight, next to them from three, and next to them from ten. A few feet away from ten's tributes stood the careers, the tributes from districts one, two and four. They were making their alliance obvious, and I found myself wondering if those three districts automatically aligned themselves every year. Just looking at them, the tall boys and the small yet obviously strong girls, I was getting nervous, wondering if I would be yet another victim of the wrath and determination of the group that was always there. My thoughts were broken, though, when the elevator doors opened and the tributes from nin emerged, both looking at the ground, not bothering to even glance at any of us. And then, in the corner of the room, near the elevators, I spotted the smallest of the group. It was the small girl from district eleven who looked to be about twelve, no older than thirteen, hiding in the darkness of the corner. And then I spotted her fellow tribute from eleven, standing near the careers, slightly masked by the large muscular figures of our competitors. He looked huge, even bigger than the biggest of the careers, and I imagined him being able to do a lot of damage to someone, if his size was any indication of his strength.

My thoughts were once again grateful, and I was glad because my mind had been drifting to scenarios in which the tall boy from eleven could kill me, or Katniss, or both of us. That time it was two people, a man and a woman, whom I didn't recognize. They didn't introduce themselves. They actually didn't say anything before embarking into a monotone runover of the training center rules. They reminded me of robots, no emotions, no sympathy, but no joy about what they were doing either. Monotone and emotionless, as if they had pushed away the world around them. I couldn't help but wonder if they were gamemakers or something, but their appearance didn't look like they had Capitol 'enhancements', if they could even be called that. Then, I found myself wondering if maybe they were past victors, and that they had done like many victors had, blocked out the world around them because it had become too painful to live in. And I wondered if that could be what would become of Katniss, and me.

My overwhelming thoughts and drifting mind had caused me to miss half the rules, but I figured most of them would probably be common sense, like 'don't throw a knife at the gamemakers' or 'don't kill you competitors, yet'. I stayed sitting as the two people, names still unknown, walked off to a door I hadn't realized was there. From that same door emerged a large group of people. That group looked like they belonged to the most understated group of the Capitol creeps. Mostly, they wore dark eyeliner and their hair, whether atop their head or facial, was groomed into strange designs - not as overstated as Effie, but not the average person from the districts either. They took a place next to various tables and racks of weapons. I quickly realized that they would be our trainers, especially as various tributes move to talk to them - the careers initiating any form of training, Katniss one of the last to move. I sighed and pushed myself to a standing position before fighting the urge to run and walking up to a table that seemed like it would be extremely important, yet wouldn't put a huge target on my back: camouflage, watching from the corner of my eye as Katniss moved to knot tying, perhaps using the same strategy as I was.

* * *

Training went well, in general. It wasn't exactly fun or amazing or anything of the sort - how could it be under such horrible circumstances. I found that camouflage was actually something I was okay at - well, when Katniss approached me she was amazed by the tree bark pattern I had painted on my hand. I had tried to help her for a bit, before we both decided it looked too much like we were going into the games together, even though most people were already in alliances with the other tribute from their district. It was common knowledge, and sense, that if we could ensure two people get out alive, we would. Despite that, she had sent me to train with the spears, telling me softly that I had already mastered the art of camouflage.

The spears were occupied by one other tribute when I got there. It was the tall boy with light brown hair from District 2 - a career. It was obvious from first glance that he was more than abile with the weapon. His form was perfect, so perfect even the trainer looked impressed. His aim, unbeatable, always hitting the very center of the targets on the dummies chests and heads. His strength, obvious by simply the distance he could throw the sharp-tipped metal rod. I found myself, for a very brief moment, imagining myself in the place of those stabbed dummies, one of the tall boy's spears piercing my flesh until it was the death of me. That image was enough to make me look away, and part of me knew it could very well be the root of one or more of my nightmares that night. But, knowing I would be seeing much, much worse once we entered the arena, I forced myself to continue walking, but not in direction of the spears, in direction of the knot tying station, where Katniss had started, and spent the little time that remained there, where I didn't have anyone to compare myself to or anything that would cause me to imagine my own death at the hands of someone else, nor that would worsen my guaranteed nightmares for that night, or any future nights.

Training was short that day, only until about two, with a lunch break at about 12:30. Everyone had to go up and meet with their stylists and prep team before the chariot ride that evening. I wasn't looking forward to it, at all. The idea of standing there is a ridiculous costume - or, as District 12 often ended up, in no costume, just dust - while the Capitol creeps cheered for Katniss and I and everyone else, admiring our 'wardrobe' that was hideous, revealing, or simply just way too out-there for a baker from twelve, awaiting our gruesome deaths at the hands of each other, deciding who they would sponsor, which was almost never the tributes from twelve. Not to mention the fact that every inhabitant of Panem was obligated by law to watch the horrendous introduction to the games, including the families of every tribute.

When we first got back up to the penthouse, Katniss and I were whisked away by trios of Capitol people - big wigs, dyed skin, overwhelming makeup. I found myself glad that they were just the prep teams, and not the actual stylists or we'd be in trouble. The group of Capitol creeps practically shoved me into the shower, all while blabbering over each other so much that I hadn't even been able to make out their names. I quickly showered, slightly unnerved by their presence in the bathroom as I showered. When I came out, even more uneasy because their were no towels in the damn bathroom, and they were all standing there staring at me - two men and a woman, all names unknown to me - holding various things in hand, though I didn't know what anything was.

All three of them glanced around, as if expecting me to make the first move, but I didn't know what to do. So, I just stared at them, taking in their Capitol 'enhanced' forms. The tallest man was standing closest to the door. His hair was dyed a dark, plum purple and his skin a lighter lavender shade. He had two dark purple tattoos right below his overly protruding cheekbones. Next to him stood a much shorter man. He was bald, but all his skin was dyed a like, baby blue. He wore dark red eyeliner and matching lipstick. Farthest into the room stood the woman. She hair was so long that it went to her hips, and it was a sunset orange - my favorite color. Her skin was actually a normal color, but she had two orange tattoos in odd shaped in place of eyebrows. Her eyes were hot pink - which I knew wasn't natural - and surrounded by a thick black line. Her lips were coated in black, too. I couldn't but think she'd be beautiful, had she not turned to the 'beauty' techniques the Capitol offered to its inhabitants.

Eventually they got bored - or annoyed, either one - of watching me stand there, and, in perfect sync, they all turned and walked towards the bedroom. The girl turned briefly and motioned for me to follow. Still uncomfortable being around them completely nude, I hesitated before obliging and following them into my bedroom. Babbling over each other again, I was barely able to make out their instructions to lay down on the bed. Then they started talking, still over each other in a way that made me unsure that even they knew what the other was saying, about something called 'beauty base zero'. I didn't know what they were talking about, or what was going on, so I just laid there and let them do their things, starting with removing every hair from my body that wasn't attached to the top of my head and ending by lathering my entire body - yes, entire body - with a cream that made their hands shimmer slightly. Then they left, leaving me laying there, on the bed, completely naked and shimmering in the bright, artificial light, waiting for Portia to arrive so I could actually get some clothes on.

It feels like forever before I see the door open and my stylist, Portia, emerge from the hallway. Her skin was dark, her hair bleach blonde and cut into the very shape of some of the bowls we used at the bakery, her dark eyes surrounded by black eyeliner. Despite that, though, she was one of the most normal looking, and more-so acting, people of the Capitol. She held up a large bag, holding my outfit for the dreaded chariot parade. She smiled at me, obviously not fazed by my lack of clothing like I was. But, then again, she was obviously one of the best stylists in the Capitol - all those for the Hunger Games were respected throughout all of Panem - and had probably seen many, many people naked in her lifetime, unlike me.

"You look a little uncomfortable there, Peeta" she pointed out, still holding her arm slightly above her head so the bag didn't hit the ground. I smiled shyly and nodded. "Well, good news. I have your outfit" she said.

I watched as she unzipped the bag, revealing an metalic black outfit. I was relieved simply to see clothing that didn't look like it would be skin tight, like it would leave some things up to the imagination of the viewers. She pulled the hanger out of the bag, revealing the full outfit to me. I smiled, satisfied with it - not that I had any say in what I wore - and she came closer to me, slipping the pants off the hanger that was holding them. I slowly sat up. She held out the slightly shiny black pants, and I took them, stepping into them as quickly as possible, somehow knowing nobody in the Capitol expected me to wear underpants for the big event. SHe then handed me the vest, and then helped me adjust it once I slipped it on. It all weighed a ton, and I asked her about, but she shook her head and told me she'd explain later. After putting a ton of gel in my hair and drawing two lines of black eyeliner to trace my eyes, she told me I was ready and we walked out of my room, into the living room where Effie and Haymitch were waiting.

We sat, pretty much in silence, until Katniss and her stylist, Cinna, I believe, came out. I felt a slight smile rise to me lips. She looked good in her black outfit, almost exactly like mine. She glanced at me quickly, and one corner of her mouth turned up slightly before she went straight faced again. She took a seat next to me on the couch of the living room. Cinna and Portia stood side by side and addressed Effie, Haymitch, Katniss and I. They told us about how, at the push of a button that they'd be giving to Katniss, the suits would light on fire, like burning coal. They assured us the fire was harmless, that we would be perfectly safe, but that the view the potential sponsors would get would make us unforgettable.

They continued to explain as we left the penthouse and made our way to the ground floor. Effie led us through a few doors before we found ourselves surrounded by brick walls, horses, chariots and our fellow tributes - one wall wa missing, giving us a clear view of the arena in which the games always began, the cheering of the crowd coming through loud and clear. Effie and Haymitch excused themselves, telling us they needed to find their seats, and left through the same door we came in. Cinna handed the single button to Katniss and he and Portia wished us luck before they headed off in the safe direction as our mentor and escort. People were calling names and district numbers, and before I knew it, I was standing next to Katniss on our chariot, two white horses in front of us, and duos were being sent out. With every group sent out, the cheering got louder. Then, eleven got sent out, the tiny girl next to the huge boy, and I found myself staring out at the arena where I would be within seconds. And a man tapped the trained horse and off we were, faced by the crazy people of the Capitol's loud cheers. I hadn't been ready, yet I couldn't of been more ready. Who could be ready for such a situation, no matter how long you had to prepare?


	4. Chapter 4

Our chariot emerged into the arena full of screaming, yelling, cheering Capitol creeps. I could here them, vaguely see them out of my peripheral vision, but I was frozen. Frozen looking straight ahead, at the back of Eleven's chariot, at the backs of the tiny girl and tall boy - both dressed as farmers.I couldn't move, couldn't look at the crowd. I was literally frozen in position. Unable to turn and face people, or wave, or even crack the slightest smile. It was so overwhelming, just to be in front of all the Capitol creeps, live, and to know that all of Panem was watching me, us, some hoping Katniss and I would live, others anxiously awaiting our deaths. More than anything, though, it made everything so much more real. The reaping was surreal, almost as if you're living in a horrible nightmare. Haymitch and Effie only make it slightly more real. Getting off that train, it hits you slightly but everything is foggy, because it's a nightmare every child of Panem has had. Even the morning's training only made me realize a little more what was going on. But the chariot ride... it was insane. Like a ton of bricks hit me on the head. The people surrounding me all - each and every one of them, except Katniss, Haymitch and Effie - wanted me to die. All the idiots with their wigs, dyed skin, tattoos and piercings, they were all basing whether they wanted me to die or not on this one moment. And that was scarier than watching the boy from District Two throw a spear into a dummy.

It was only when the glow around me changed that I managed to move, managed to tear my eyes from the tall boy and the tiny girl. Around me, things had turned slightly orange, and I turned to see what had caused the change in lighting. It was the burning embers effect of my outfit - which I had completely forgotten about - and Katniss'. She had done the same, turned to examine the embers coming from our backs, floating in the air behind us before disappearing like actual embers floating from a fire. As we turned to look forward again, our eyes met, and locked for a split second before we both quickly turned back to the front, staring at the backs of Eleven's tributes once again. The only difference was people were cheering... for us, and chanting... for use, and throwing flowers... at us. They weren't cheering because of our impending death, but because they were supporting us. The outfits were different from anything the Games had ever seen before, and different, unique looks were always a way to catch the people of the Capitol's eyes, proven by their different, unique and odd sense of style.

I found myself able to move again, accepting the possibility that not everyone in the arena was against us, unlike during every other annual Hunger Games. I took in my surroundings, the filled seats surrounding us, the screens showing zoomed in shots of various sets of tributes in between footage of Caesar Flickerman and Claudius Templesmith, the other sets of tributes and Katniss. She was staring straight ahead - face unreadable, eyes blank with only the slightest hint of fear - looking frozen like I had been at first. When I looked down briefly, I saw her hand against her leg, shaking slightly. She was nervous. I wanted to help her, to soothe her nerves only slightly, and I found myself reaching over to take her hand in mine. She quickly pulled hers away, turning to face me.

"Peeta!" It was a harsh whisper.

"Shh... They'll love it" I told her, trying to take her hand again, but she once again pulled it away.

"We're not supposed to let them... you know" she said, another harsh whisper as she leaned in closer to me. I nodded.

"I know. Think of it more as telling them we're a team" I told her. "They'll love it" That time, when I reached for her hand, she let me take it, and raise it into the air, revealing our intertwined fingers to all of Panem.

The crowd went wild. Screams of... our names? I didn't remember ever hearing the crowd say specific names during the chariot intro, but they were. And they were screaming them loud along with chants of encouragement and simple yells of enthusiasm. Flowers were being thrown from every direction, at us. Katniss caught one and held it out in front of us. A black rose, symbol of death and mourning, but also symbol of commitment and a new beginning. I kinda hoped whoever had thrown it meant to send the second message, rather than the first. Still holding the rose, she held that hand up, too, and the crowd once again erupted in cheers impossible to make out. I looked around at them, three quarters of them standing as they clapped and yelled, the array of colors and accessories so big even I could make them out made the sight almost humorous... almost. To my left, the huge screens were lit up with a closeup of my face, of Katniss' and of our joined hands, making sure even those with the farthest seats could see us.

Seconds later, the chariot stilled, the trained horses stopped abruptly next to the ones from Eleven. The embers behind us disappeared quickly, and Katniss and I both turned, surprised by the sudden loss of orange glow. Our hands dropped and disconnected between us, both of us bringing our hands back to our individual sides. As I turned back to the front, I quickly shot a glance around me and saw the tiny girl from Eleven looking back at me. She smiled shyly, looking embarrassed at having been caught, before snapping her gaze forward. I looked forward too and watched as the President of Panem - torturer of his people - President Snow stepped up to the podium at the edge of the balcony he was standing on. A small shiver ran down my spine at the sight of the man that oozed evil. My eyes stayed locked on him as he spoke, giving the same speech he gave every year. It was a boring speech, and I found myself tuning out most of it as I stared at the man whose beliefs in 'tradition' - which is really his excuse for keeping the stupid Games going every year - could be the cause of my death. In fact, I had tuned the stupid speech out so well, I didn't even realize it was finished until the enthusiastic screams of the crowd erupted through the arena, and soon enough the chariot we were standing on was moving again.

* * *

Once we got back stage, we followed our path back up to the penthouse, Katniss and I still dressed in our heavy black outfits. We shared the elevator with the tributes from Eleven, Haymitch and their mentors. It was crowded, to say the least, and I found myself staring at my feet most of the ride up, intimidated by the boy who towered over me with a good eight inches. Looking down, though, I could see the small girl, and she was looking up, not at the boy, or me, or any of the mentors, but at Katniss. And, as she looked at my partner, her eyes glowed with admiration. I found myself looking at the small girl, as she looked at Katniss and Katniss stared at the doors. The girl looked no older than thirteen, but more like twelve, around Prim's age. And I realized for the first time that she had watched Prim get reaped, and Katniss volunteer to save her. The small girl had been reaped, but had no one to volunteer in her place. She was stuck in the cruel world where no child her age - or even my age - belonged, and she knew Katniss knew that, and she knew Katniss had saved a child her age, and she admired Katniss for it. And I found myself smiling, because I admired Katniss for it, too.

My thought, however, were broken by the ding of the elevator, telling us we were at the eleventh floor. The girl's smile faded as she followed one of their two mentors - a tall woman who just stared straight ahead - out of the elevator. Mine did too, upon her disappearance behind the once again closed elevator doors. It took merely seconds before the elevator doors once again opened, revealing our penthouse. I followed Effie out of the elevator, Katniss and Haymitch behind us. Effie told us to go get changed before dinner, so I did as told and went to my room. After I stripped off the heavy, metallic black vest and equally heavy bottoms, I found myself once again rummaging through the Capitol-style wardrobe, looking for something on the verge of normal. I ended up choosing slacks and a button down shirt, something very, very few people in Twelve ever wore because it was too fancy for our lifestyle, but was apparently the most understated thing the Capitol people wore.

I walked out of my room, the black pants, dress shoes and dark green shirt making it feel like I was going to some super fancy occasion, rather than to dinner with Katniss, Haymitch and Effie. As I shut the door to my room behind me, Katniss emerged from her room, wearing a... dress? I must've looked surprised, because she rolled her eyes at me. I chuckled softly at her obvious less-than-enthusiastic opinion on her attire.

"It was this or silk blouses and pencil skirts like Effie's" she explained, and I let another laugh make it's way out of my throat. I could not picture Katniss in any outfit even similar to any of the things I'd seen Effie wear over the years. Besides, Katniss looked amazing in the actually rather simple sundress - white with various colored circles overlapping and intertwining together to make a complex design. Actually, with her hair still in the style Cinna had pinned it into, and her makeup still the flame like, dark mixed with red-orange eye makeup, she looked stunning, and I couldn't keep the smile off my face.

"You look beautiful" I let it slip and instantly saw her tense up. In her eyes was a sudden fear, making it obvious that she did not exactly take the compliment well. I reached over and took her hand gently, feeling her tense up further before she calmed, a hint of the fear fading from her eyes. "It's true" I added. At my words, a hint more of the fear faded and I realized that she had been scared that I was lying. Why, though, I had no idea. She was beautiful, whether she knew it or not. She tightened her grip on my hand momentarily, until we found ourselves walking towards the dining room, where she let go completely, most likely because Haymitch and Effie were there.

We ate in silence, again. Well, Katniss and I did, mostly because neither one of us could get a word in between Effie's usual babbling about anything and everything and Haymitch's snide comments about her babbling, and then their arguing that every comment caused. So, Katniss and I sat and ate silently, exchanging glances every now and then, silently telling each other how crazy we each found our mentor and escort. Haymitch eventually shut up, after downing a few more glasses of liquor, and eventually opting to just drink from the bottle, since none of us were using it. Effie glared at him, and I rolled my eyes at her, knowing there was no way that would get him to put the bottle down. Then, as if coming to the same conclusion, she turned back to Katniss and I and started babbling on and on about her schedule, announcing to us that she'd be out at a meeting that evening. Not long after dinner, she left, and Haymitch excused himself to his room, leaving Katniss and I to occupy our time.

Still sitting at the dining table, platters of food sitting before us as the two avoxes grabbed them two at a time to clear the table, I looked over at Katniss. She was already looking back at me, a silent question being asked between us. What do we do now? I shrugged, answering the unsaid question, and then she did, too. So, not knowing what to do with our time, without a schedule courtesy of Effie or any lame ideas from Haymitch, we just sat there and looked at each other. The things on the table gradually disappeared until the table was bare beside us. As the avoxes retreated to the elevator, I nodded at them as a way of thanks. Slight smiles came across both their faces and they both nodded back at me, completely silent due to the treatment of the Capitol, and the elevator doors closed, hiding them in the small moving chamber.

I turned back to Katniss, hoping she might have an idea. When she didn't say anything, or move, I let my gaze move off her and glanced around the room, looking for something to talk about or do. A door near the corner caught my eye. On it read 'ROOF' in bold red letters, and I wondered how I hadn't noticed it before. She turned slightly, most likely trying to find what had cut my eye, but I caught her hand so she turned back to me. I stood up, still holding her hand.

"Peeta?" she asked. "Where are we going?"

"To the roof" I answered simply. pushing the door open with my free hand and continuing to lead her as we walked up the staircase. I knew she was quite a few paces behind me, because my arm was completely stretched out behind my back. I stopped and pushed open the almost surprisingly unlocked door. As I did, I felt her come closer to me, my arm relaxing behind me as she continued to hold it.

"Are we even allowed up here?" she asked as I took the last few steps up onto the roof. She followed behind me, leaving the door open behind her. As soon as both her feet were on the roof, her eyes looking out at the city surrounding us, her hand released mine. "Wow... For somewhere so..." she trailed, and remained silent for a few seconds. Scary... I silently finished for her. "It's beautiful from up here" she added after a long pause. I nodded, unable to disagree.

The training building was one of the tallest buildings in the Capitol, with only a few buildings reaching or surpassing its height. It was surrounded by the businesses and homes of the Capitol people, which, much like the inhabitants of the Capitol's outfits, were lit up in a variety of colors below us. The lights on the buildings below and surrounding us lit up the view like a bright rainbow, swirled and bent in every direction, contrasted against the darkness of the ground and night sky. Admiring the view, I found myself slowing moving towards the edge of the roof. I can, somehow, feel her following my motions. And, without even realizing it, we end up sitting against two columns that were holding up to forcefield we knew surrounded us, mirroring each other's position. Both of us had our knees tucked up, our crossed arms resting over them as our gazes switched between the view of the city - so beautiful and bright to look at, but quite the opposite - and each other. It was odd, a city so beautiful and so powerful yet so mean and frightening. It was a place I hated, that scared me half to death and shook me to the core, but that the sight of it, glowing in the darkness of night, almost calmed the hurricane of emotions running through my veins. The fear, more than anything, was consuming - the fear of my death, of Katniss', but, more than anything, the fear that I'd leave alive, but a different man, no longer Peeta Mellark, the baker's son who would do anything for the girl he loves without her even knowing it, but Peeta Mellark, victor of the Hunger Games, depressed and sleeping with every girl that throws herself at him. That, allowing the Capitol to change me, was the scariest thing.

We were silent for a long time, just sitting there as we admired the view, as our minds ran wild with uncontrollable thoughts about everything and anything. When I let my eyes drift from the array of colors and lights and back to her, I found her looking back at me, her eyes full of fear, yet with a sparkle of joy - an odd mix.

"It's so pretty" she said softly. I nodded in agreement, just like I had when she pointed out the beauty of our surroundings the first time. "But so..." she trailed again, stopping for a long pause before finishing her sentence. "Scary" I nodded again, knowing exactly what she meant, but stayed completely silent, the thoughts that had overtaken me refusing to fade. "What are you thinking about?" she asked after minutes gone by without me saying a word. I locked my eyes with hers, and found myself even more worried that I'd change, that I'd no longer be the boy who almost selflessly threw her the bread.

"Just... Just that I don't want them to change me. That I'd rather die than let them get to me" I answered her honestly, unable to even think of lying to the girl whose grey eyes make me feel transparent, like she sees into the deepest parts of me. She nods slowly.

"I get what you mean" she said softly. "I... I just can't afford to think like that. I promised Prim I'd try to win, no matter what" she adds, her gaze dropping from mine and down at the grey roof we were sitting on.

"And you will" I told her. And, in doing so she'd be proving that she didn't change, because she'd still do anything for her little sister. "We're gonna do it Katniss. We're gonna live, and not change" I said after a long silence, not only for her, but for myself. I needed to believe it, too, because if I didn't, it would never come true.

"We will, Peeta" she said, her eyes locking back on mine, and I could tell she was trying to convince both of us, too.

After that, we were silent again. I left my gaze on her, even as she looked away momentarily, multiple times. I was replaying on conversation in my mind. I'd rather die than let them get to me. I just can't afford to think like that. We're gonna live, and not change. We will, Peeta. It was all I could think as I watched her face contort into grimaces and smiles as her mind ran wild with thoughts only she knew, only she would ever know. And, as I watched a small smile come across her face, and heard a soft laugh escape her throat, I knew I wouldn't change. I wouldn't let myself change. I would do absolutely anything for Katniss Everdeen. I would when I was five, and I would before I got reaped, and I would when we walked out of the Games, together, alive, unchanged. I was determined to make it happen, to walk out of there, holding her hand, knowing that I kept my promise to myself - to never let anyone hurt her more than fate already has - and that she kept her promise to Prim - that she would do anything to get out of those Games alive.

When she looked back at me, her eyes were filled with something so foreign, so unreadable that I just stared into them, trying the make sense of the jumble of letters that I could usually read so clearly in her eyes. She's serious, I could tell that much. Straight face, no smile, no frown, as her eyes glowed with an emotion I'd never seen, or perhaps a jumble of emotions as they ran through her. She was beautiful, drop dead gorgeous in the darkness of the night that had deepened, surrounded by the bright lights of the Capitol, a soft rainbow of colors shining softly against her cheek, against her pale skin. At the sight, I felt my heart swell up with a love for her that was almost as old as me, that had been ongoing, undying since the day I first saw her in that music assembly. I felt the urge to kiss her, but knew I couldn't. I couldn't ruin the relationship that had so suddenly bloomed between us that day on the train, not when it was only getting started, not when I was feeling for the first time the love of the girl I had loved for years. So, instead, I stood up and reached for her hand, helping her to her feet even though she didn't need it. The feel of her hand in mine satisfied the need for physical contact, the need to feel her love in some way, especially when she squeezed it. I led her back downstairs, and was glad to not see Effie waiting for us.

From there, I debated just going to sit on the couch with her, but a quick glance at the clock told me it would be a better idea to go to bed. We would be woken at six the next morning, and the hands of the clock were both creeping up to the twelve. So, still holding her hand tightly in mine, I led her down the hallway, towards the doors to our bedrooms, at a slow, leisurely pace. Standing in between our doors, I released her hand and leaned over to kiss her head softly. She tensed under the touch of my lips, but relaxed soon enough. I pulled away from her head and locked eyes with her.

"Goodnight, Katniss" I told her softly. Her eyes remained locked on mine, keeping the serious, unreadable look in them as she spoke.

"Goodnight, Peeta" She released my hand and turned to her door, and it kinda felt like I was bringing her home after a normal first date, like the ones written about in books by our ancestors, but I wasn't. I was handing her over to the mercy of nightmares that haunted my sleep, and that I guessed haunted hers, too - rather than to her father, anxiously awaiting her return like they did in those stories of love that my mother read. I went to turn, towards my own door, but turned when I heard her soft, sleepy voice again. "It was... nice, tonight, on the roof" she said, a sly smile playing at the corners of her mouth. I smiled at her and nodded, knowing everything I was trying to tell her - that I had enjoyed it too, that our conversation would not be forgotten, that I'd remember that night until the day I died - would be conveyed through the simple motion of my head. The smile became for solid over her lips as she turned and walked into the room. Not until the door was completely shut behind her did I turn and walk into my own room. I prepared for the night, stripping down to my boxers once again, and collapsed onto the bed. It wasn't long before I fell asleep, that conversation haunting my dreams until it was interrupted by the boy with the spear, and images of not my death, but his, and a changed me killing him.


End file.
